Selfish

I have a tendency to be possessive with my possessions; it’s like a selfish, greediness. I don’t like it about myself, and I’m completely conscious of when I’m being this way, but I continue on anyways. I think this all stems from when I was younger. When I was a kid my family moved, and when we did me and brothers were told we would have to get new bedroom sets because our current ones were too old.

During the move I stayed with my cousin until it was over, and when I arrived to the new place I discovered my brother got to keep one of his old mattresses. This was an issue cause we regularly had movie nights and he would pull out that mattress and lay there during movies; I was never allowed on it. It was his and because it belonged to him he could decide if I were allowed on it. I was super jealous of that thing and always wanted something of my own. We shared a room and he was older than me, he had things like the NES ans SNES, I had things like Hot-Wheels that I was completely uninterested in. I always wanted to have something he might want to use jut so I could say no to him.

So all of these years later I think those trivial mattress trials influenced me in a very bitter, unpleasant way. I’m working on it.